They just don't get it!

Do most people have selective hearing or are they just thick? Are they so sure that what they say and/or think must be right that they can't hear what I am telling them? Or do they just not want to know?

It has come to the point of where I am tired of repeating again and again what I am looking for...to the same people. Why do they insist of splitting hairs? No, I'm not one of those who has a long list of requirements and none of my requirements are even physical (well besides for health), I just want someone who has the same long term outlook in life as I do. You'd think with so few demands it would be easier but boy do they drive me nuts. If I dare say no because the outlook is too different they come back to me with some of the small points (that can make up that outlook) and tell me how the boy is prepared to give in on those. That's very nice and very special.....BUT WE ARE HEADING IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!!!

Am I the only one who thinks long-term goals are important and that the way our boy (if we should have one) will or won't wear his peyos is not? There are times when I refuse to budge and discuss details and I stick to explaining over and over why long-term goals are important and how if these are basically in the same direction then smaller points can all be negotiated but those times just results in the person on the other end of the line labeling me as stubborn.

I can't win.

What friends put up with

Those of us who have been in the saga called shidduchim for a large number of years are probably almost desensitized to the comments and opinions made by others, from the 7 year old neighbor who thought he was being charmingly cute to Mrs Must-Wear-Black-&-I-Love-Gossip from down the block to the loud, supposedly caring, opinionated great-aunt, may she live to be 120 but not in my hearing. But we lot, who are still single, are a hardy bunch and have learnt to let what they say slip right off us, in some ways we may have even grown accustomed to them.

Today, I experienced a shift, any sympathy I had for myself has taken a short journey to my good friend. The poor woman has had to put up with enough. Besides for the constant questions she has to answer about me (none productive) she has now had to start giving judgment on why she, as I married woman with kids is friends with a 'single'. She has been asked, why she has chosen to be friends with me, what it is like being friends with a 'single', whether there are lots of uncomfortable moments, why I am not just friends with other singles, why she complicates her life by being so friendly with me, whether it is appropriate to invite me to a Sheva Brochos she is making, how she finds things to say to me...and some more!

I tell ya, the woman is a saint, I'd have long told all those people of go take a hike!

Finding ME

I come out from behind the curtains with my hands up. I admit, I'm guilty of neglecting my blog and its readers. It wasn't that I was much too busy dating, too busy with work or even too busy socializing yet still, I was busy, busy finding ME. Now finding yourself is a really hard and complicated task, some people go through life never finding themselves but I wanted to, I'm intrigued to what makes me tick, what makes me unique. Being that the choice was so large I began by narrowing the margins and excluding what I am not, that bit was fun and easy (last time I looked I wasn't a boy, married or hot dog vendor) but the choices left were still numerous. So I have spend the last few months working on this and slowly trying to figure it out and I haven't even finish but when I do...I will let you know.

Explaining marketing concepts to students

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"

A tad jealous

As an avid blog reader to a variety of blog I am beginning to feel a bit jealous. Many posts now seem to mention end of year and start of vacation etc and hey I'm still working for 5 weeks!! Those in the USA enjoy a nice long 2 month holiday (office workers apart) while 'over the pond' the holiday is a mere 4 weeks. On the other hand majority of educational institutions here have a 10 -12 day holiday period at the end of December, which I believe that most schools don't have there. It still does not make up to 8 weeks...sigh, why do I always pick the short straw ;)

What to do....

I recently had to have a scan. B''h it wasn't for anything major and although I hope for a favorable outcome, as there is no life/death situation involved I was relatively calm. So after putting on an ICU (I see you) robe...well two actually as I still had to sit and wait in the waiting room for half an hour, I was told to lie down on this down tube-like bed and given a set of earphones to listen to some 'soft' music as it might be a bit noisy. Sounds comfy right? And as I can sleep through quite a lot of noise I thought it perfect for an afternoon nap, after all it was to take 30 min which is a lovely amount of time for a snooze. Then came that one instruction - 'YOU MAY NOT MOVE THROUGHOUT THIS SCAN' Okay I thought I can manage that, can't be that different to an x-ray. And then it started....

Now usually I haven't got a problem lying still but my brain decided otherwise, I suddenly felt so frigidity and spasmy my toes needed to wriggle and everything wanted to move. I tried going into the music...no luck, relaxing breathing....no luck, closing eyes.....even worse, quick open them again, by this time my brain was going into over-drive till I found an old favorite game to occupy me. As I could see the name of the machine stuck onto it, I tried to see how many words I could make using those letters and what was the highest word I could make.

Now my question to you - how would you occupy yourself for 30 minutes in a noisy environment without moving a cm?

Kosel...

I yearned for the kosel
A wall absorbed with tears
Worn with each caress
For thousands of years

A wall where each person
Pours out their heart
Barriers broken open
Emotions apart

Souls are all standing
Facing one direction
Praying, shaking, crying
Feeling a connection

As I stand with them
Surrounded yet alone
I look all around me
At the majestic stones

I search with my eyes
For what I not know
Something to move me
To help my tears flow

But much as I yearned
To come here today
Dry eyed I remain
With no words to pray

All plans and dreams
Of what I would say
As I'd stand by this wall
On this very day

The thoughts that soaked
My pillow each night
Have gone from my mind
Not one in sight

Please let me shed
Just one single tear
Say a few words
To the One I hold dear

I said a few words
Without any feeling
But the whole experience
Just leaves me reeling

I leave the Kosel plaza
Feeling disappointed and empty
Unable to reach out
To the Owner of plenty

Deja Vu?

Over the last year or two, it has been a bit rocky for me but b''h I have a few good friends who have given me time and a listening ear. One friend, who happens to be a bit younger than I, often got to hear a lot more than she bargained for. Now to tell you a bit about myself, well, I love analogies and they love me and needless to say whenever I couldn't find the words to how I was feeling, to explain the junction I was at, the decisions I was facing, a scene would form in my mind and I was able to help her understand where I was coming from. To be embarrassingly honest I didn't think too hard about whether she was facing similar questions or where she was in her life, I almost presumed that she would understand me being of almost similar age. It therefore came as I bit of a shock when she recently started to come out with stuff that that she is now going through, differently but not too different from I had been through about 8 months previous, she also began telling me how she only now understood what I had meant and began to quote some analogies back to me...it was an eek moment for me but it has left me a bit confused. Is it a help that I have tread the path before her and she has seen me come out the other side or have I confused her more as she is seeing similarities and now has all my analogies in her head....I am left wondering.

Second Anniversary

Numbers...
so much is centered around them...
anniversaries...
weight...
age...
given so much importance....
almost too much....
so what if it one more...
or one less...
or horrors of it two...
and how much is too much....
does any of it even make a difference?

Where do you hail from?

I usually blog around a title but this time haven't yet thought of a suitable one, so I will just have to write and then see what I can come up with afterward. I joined this blogging world near on two years ago (ooh, ideas for an anniversary post??) and a few of you first got to know me though my blog from that time. After some 'to'ing and 'fro'ing with wondering whether to write a blog again (never stopped reading them) I have settled where I am now and have b''h made some great blogger friends from over the pond. I guess it is when I read the blogs and comments and notice the teasing, easy-going chat between you bloggers that I realized - a lot of you know each other, a lot of you meet up, a lot of you have become friends. My friends here in England don't blog, they probably wouldn't even know what it is and I haven't told anyone about my blog either...it has sort of become the place that is exclusively mine, together with all of you of course, although not sure how that one works out but sure that you get what I mean :). Obviously, being here in England this isn't really a possibility of how to spend a Sunday afternoon (just the wee hours of the night!!) but I wondered, are there really no other bloggers out there from England? (I know that I have one as yet unidentified reader who wishes to remain nameless ;)) It would be nice to share your thoughts on a secret life.