Do most people have selective hearing or are they just thick? Are they so sure that what they say and/or think must be right that they can't hear what I am telling them? Or do they just not want to know?
It has come to the point of where I am tired of repeating again and again what I am looking for...to the same people. Why do they insist of splitting hairs? No, I'm not one of those who has a long list of requirements and none of my requirements are even physical (well besides for health), I just want someone who has the same long term outlook in life as I do. You'd think with so few demands it would be easier but boy do they drive me nuts. If I dare say no because the outlook is too different they come back to me with some of the small points (that can make up that outlook) and tell me how the boy is prepared to give in on those. That's very nice and very special.....BUT WE ARE HEADING IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!!!
Am I the only one who thinks long-term goals are important and that the way our boy (if we should have one) will or won't wear his peyos is not? There are times when I refuse to budge and discuss details and I stick to explaining over and over why long-term goals are important and how if these are basically in the same direction then smaller points can all be negotiated but those times just results in the person on the other end of the line labeling me as stubborn.
I can't win.
6 comments:
I hear your dilemma, my dear....
It's hard when people don't understand what's important to you and why what they think is important just doesn't matter to you... But I think that you're doing right in sticking to what you feel is important...
I know you've heard this a thousand times, I'm sure, but there's nobody or nothing or no situation that can stand in the way of your right shidduch. What G-d wants will come no matter how annoying or misunderstanding people will be.
Just try to hang in there.... And yes, you can win. You're doing the right thing.... That's already half the battle............
(((hugs)))
Yes, it is annoying.
It is also annoying when somebody barely knows anything about the other person and is surprised when you don't immediately jump at the opportunity to go out with him but instead say you need some more information. Like just saying "well, he *is* shomer Shabbos" covers A LOT of territory y'know?? Plus, what do you think, that shouldn't be a given for somebody you'd expect me to want to meet?
Sigh...I guess what it comes down to, is that people do want to help, do want to set you up, it's just that they really don't know anybody. And when they do finally come across a person they do their best to try to make the shoe fit, so to speak. Good intentions and all, but still that doesn't make it easy to deal with.
OUch. Sounds painful and annoying too!
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