Saturday, 31 January 2009



feet pounding
on the hard gravel




When will I ever learn that I cannot run from away myself.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Ikea renames some products...

For those of you who are familiar with the regular names that Ikea uses for its furniture - this is a good one!

Welcome to Ikea Israel, where products include:

BILLIG – a cheap bookcase for all those extra seforim

NIDAH – a moveable bedside table

FRESS – an extra-long family-sized dining room table

GREPS – a carbonated soft drink available from the restaurant

BROYGUS – a new range of wedding invitations

SHLUF – a comfortable single bed (only single beds are available at this branch)

NINEDAYS – a healthy meat-free meal option

OSSUR – a budget computer system with Internet access

TOYVEL – a luxury, extra-deep bath

SHMUTZ – a strong shower gel

FRACK – a long jacket, available from the clothing department

GROB – an extra-large convenience meal with no cutlery

PONIMCHADOSHOS – a face pack for the Charedi lady

SHTINK – a room deodoriser

SHLEP – a set of heavy-duty suitcase, available from the luggage department

SHAA – a set of earplugs

EKEL – a rather sickly cake, available from the restaurant

YIDDISHKEIT – an outdoor toy for Jewish children

DREK – a toilet brush

SHMOOZ – a telephone

SHVITZ – a thick duvet, available from the bedding department

SHTEIG – a work desk, available from the office department

NACHAS – a family picture frame

Sunday, 25 January 2009

You didn't ask

Tefilla is a topic very close to my heart for the huge struggle it represents to me. I know that I am not alone in this fight with the y''h and we all have this fight at some point over some issue. While for some it may be the kavana issue for me it is reaching out to my siddur, taking it in my hands and opening it up. Once I feel the weight of it in my hands I know that most of the fight is over but some days it is hard to get to that point. Therefore when I came across a small inspiring piece I thought that I should share it as if it inspires only one person to daven one small tefilla it will have been worth it.

I recently read a mashal about a boy who whilst playing in his garden came across a large rock and tries to move it. He pushes it hard again and again but it doesn't move. Frustrated he turns to his father stating ''I cant move it,'' but his father remains unsympathetic and tells his son to use all his strength and to try harder. The boy pushes with every bit of energy till he is sweating, he pushes this way, that way, tries pulling till he is aching, but with little success, not even a few centimetres. Turning to his father, he cries that it is of little use, but again his father tells him that he has not used all resources available to him. After another unsuccessful go, tired, frustrated and in pain the boy cries out that he has tried his best and can't anymore, he's giving up, he has no more energy and has tried every strategy possible to him, his father calmly replies...''my dear son, you do, you didn't ask me to help you!''

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

So Sorry

I will never know
Secrets buried deep

I will never know
The sweetness of your voice

I will never know
If I could have gotten through to you

I will never know
If I could have done more

I will never know
The child behind the eyes

I will never know
If you feel I failed you

I will never know...
Because you chose to leave.

Wishing you a life free of pain and much Hazlocha

Your teacher

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Smile 4 a minute

I have now began another blog - The link to it is at the top of the right sidebar.

Feel free to have a peek :)

Monday, 12 January 2009

Please come in

You stand in my class, as regular as clock work, watching, listening but unmoving, will you ever join in? What will it take to reach you and show you I care? What can I do to help you trust me? What has made you need to control? What is the secret behind those dark eyes of yours? You are not a fool, it is clear but wouldn't you pick up the pencil and prove that point to me? I have tried all my usual strategies, I have asked others for advice but still you remain, the observer. I'm not out to break you or prove myself stronger, I do not force you - but is this really what you want? I'm stepping towards you and opening the door....won't you please come inside?

Friday, 9 January 2009

The letter

Everyone approaches a newspaper differently. I tend to start from the back page as then I don't have to wait too long till I get to the letter page, my favorite part. This time was no different but one particular letter caught my eye and hasn't left my mind.

The letter sought a warm, yiddishe home for a baby girl with a disability, a family who would help support her medical and social difficulties. Her parents felt that they were unable to bring her up but would like there to be a possibility of contact in the future. It then went on to explain how they were appealing to the Jewish community as if no family were found the child would be placed in the central adoption system and would end up with a Non-Jewish family.

My reactions didn't shock me, my heart ached heavily and I sadly sighed for my impossible hopes and thoughts. I want to take in this girl, I want to care for her, offer her a home and help her develop and grow. Grand wishes but disappointingly, not possible. I am a single girl, not married and would therefore never be considered. In addition, which boy would ever consider a girl who had adopted a child, it would be social suicide, I'd be cutting all my chances, I wouldn't be allowed.

So one little girl out there is searching for a mommy and one big girl aches to be that mommy....


Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Dear Me,

Why am I hurting
Those I care about so much
The ones who stuck with me
Who were my crutch

Why am I pushing
Those I really want near
The ones who know
My one big fear

Why am I fighting
Those who want to be there
The ones not leaving
Those that care

Why am I running from
Those offering assistance
The ones giving me time
With least resistance

Why can't I accept
That they mean what they say
They aren't going to leave
They want to stay.

Saturday, 3 January 2009


Smooth pierce
Single entry point


Darts splintering
Pain all over

Thursday, 1 January 2009


Innocent young kedoishim
Murdered while learning in Yeshiva...

Two boys being tortured
Far away in a Japanese jail...

Investments crumbling
Homes repossessed...

Mumbai Korbanos
While working for the Tzibbor...

Young Israeli soldiers
Risking their lives daily...

Each incident ripped us inside, caused us to stop in our tracks, think, feel and hopefully reach out with a cry of 'why?' to our Father in Heaven. B''h there are no answers to this frequently asked question and b''h we are still asking it. If we were ever to have answers to our questions of ''why'' we would stop asking them, which in turn would bring our downfall because and if we would stop asking we would stop feeling and if we would stop feeling our pain and the pain of others then we would stop crying out to Hashem, Hashem Who is causing all this and waiting for these moments....moments of our reconnection.

Based on a shiur by a Chabad Rabbi