Monday, 12 January 2009

Please come in

You stand in my class, as regular as clock work, watching, listening but unmoving, will you ever join in? What will it take to reach you and show you I care? What can I do to help you trust me? What has made you need to control? What is the secret behind those dark eyes of yours? You are not a fool, it is clear but wouldn't you pick up the pencil and prove that point to me? I have tried all my usual strategies, I have asked others for advice but still you remain, the observer. I'm not out to break you or prove myself stronger, I do not force you - but is this really what you want? I'm stepping towards you and opening the door....won't you please come inside?

11 comments:

Lvnsm27 said...

sometimes it's hard for people to let others in. The only thing we can really do is be patient and let them know that we are here if they need someone

the only way i know said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the only way i know said...

agreed with Lvnsm
also - smile alot, frequent casual eye contact , nodding, and sharing details of yourself - not only show that she can share with you, but that you trust her enough to share with her

Scraps said...

It's hard when you try and try to reach someone, and yet that person remains standing off to the side, watching and perhaps waiting, but not really a part of things. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to keep trying even though you're not seeing results. And sometimes you won't see the fruits of your efforts - but perhaps the next person who tries to reach that person will have an easier time because you put in so much work.

Floating Reflections said...

Thanks Lvnsm, T.O.W.I.K and Scraps for your advice. I like the idea idea of sharing some of my info with her - never thought of that. Its great to hear more ideas and encouragement. I do hope she warms soon. Thank you.

halfshared said...

I think that the way you are dealing with it is what the child needs. Standing away is so often the best thing.
Also, about what was said, I just read a book where someone was trying to reach a troubled child and nothing had worked previously. She finally decided to share something very personal that would show that she identifies and understands the child. And that was the key to getting through to her.
I wish you much Hatzlacha in all that you do.

corner point said...

How old is she?

Cuz...may sound weird...but sometimes puppets work.

Floating Reflections said...

HS: Thanks

CP: Nice one - thanks.

Dry Eyes said...

You sound like a really caring teacher. The child is lucky to have you.
I could have used a teacher who tried hard enough to reach me....

I agree with corner point- if the child is young toys can really help. A family friend of ours was going through a difficult divorce and her five year old daughter totally closed up, although it was obvious that she was troubled. All kinds of professionals and therapists failed, but once when I was babysitting her and I played dollhouse with her. She opened up to me more than anyone before.

Bas~Melech said...

Yknow, I was like that kid once and I STILL don't know the answer... I think you just need to keep being open and when she is ready, maybe even after she's moved on past your class, she'll open up. But each caring teacher lays the foundation that enables her to get there eventually...

Floating Reflections said...

Thanks for all your encouragement.